I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
