Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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