I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
