he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
