there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
