It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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