I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
