Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
