i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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