We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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