Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
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I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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