Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
