the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
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Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
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I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you