Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.