I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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