for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
