I think my vagina is haunted
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
So much Jack, so little girl.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You ruined the universe
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