can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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