i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize