Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
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So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
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I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?