Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
