i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro