He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.