i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
