the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
