He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
