So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
