you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
