kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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