I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
