yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
