Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
