so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize