No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Randomize
