Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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