I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
