chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
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You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
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My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Oh god it's open bar.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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