I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
