: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
