There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
