At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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