Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize