His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.