Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter