You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.