I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza