I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
