there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
