I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
