im drinking this country out of the recession.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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