when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Randomize
