butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
