Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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