Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
