I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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