Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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