literally had 100 drinks last night.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
