You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
