I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
