So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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