I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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