Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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