what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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