So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
