Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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