You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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