"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
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I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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