just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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