This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I think my vagina is haunted
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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