Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
