This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
